Evil Dead Anime!
by J.C. Crowe
Summary: Poor Ash. He's traveled through time, been possessed, & lost basically every chick who dug him to those damned Deadites! What could be worse? How about dropping the poor sap into a bunch of random animes? I'll be excepting suggestions in reviews, so enjoy
1. Trigun

Evil Dead Anime  
(And some video games)  
  
Part One:  
Trigun  
  
"Don't you think you should be a bit more on alert, Vash?" Nichoulus T. Wolfwood asked as the two tredged across the barren desert. "Y'know, this isn't exactly the first time you've ditched the girls, plus that bounty on yer head is still standing."  
"Relax, Wolfie," Vash the Stampede scoffed. "I've spent my whole life in the desert; nothin can suprise me anymore!"  
As if on cue, in a flash of blue light, a dark haired young man with a chainsaw attatched to his right arm, wearing a torn blue shirt and tattered biege pants, dropped screaming from the skies.  
He hit the ground with a grunt, and lay coughing in the swirl of dust he kicked up with his entrance.  
Wolfwood dropped Vash, who had leapt into his arms in terror, and ran to the mysterious man's side. Vash followed after getting up and regaining his bravado.  
"Are you alright?" Wolfwood asked the man, dropping his massive cross on the gound near-by.  
"I just need to work on my landings, Padre," the man said dismissively as he sat up.  
"How did you know i was a preist?" Wolfwood asked with a suprised chuckle.  
"Well, yer either a priest or Jesus H. Christ himself, with a cross like that. In the case of the latter, I'd guess this time I went farther back than ever before and should warn ya not to trust the Romans. Oh, and Judas, too, don't trust him either."  
Wolfwood laughed. "No my friend, I'm afraid i'm not the Son of God."  
"Wait a minute," Vash interupted. "Haven't you been saying that we're all God's children? So, wouldn't that, technically, make you God's Son? Or at least a distant nephue?"  
"If that were that case, that would make us all siblings," the strang man added, "so, everytime you look at a woman, yer fantasizing about incest!"  
"Explain that, Wolfie!" Vash smirked.  
Wolfwood just shook his head. "Anyway, who are you, stranger?"  
"Name's Ashley J. Williams. Call me Ash."  
Before the confersation could go any further, another man, this one wearing a black trench coat and cool-lookin' dark shades, appeared as if from nowhere (hey, it's a cartoon!). He pulled out a needlessly large handgun and pointed it a poor ol' Vash.  
"Vash the Stampede? Name's Gryff Forrest & I've come to collect on the 60 billion double dollar reward. Oh, and split it with them." As if on cue (again) four ugly thugs stepped into view.  
Ash was quickly on his feet, but facing the other way.  
"What are you looking at?" Wolfwood asked quietly, and Vash & Gryff held a stare-down.  
"That," Ash siad simply.  
In the truest tradition of the Evil Dead series, a nameless invisible force charged past Ash & Wolfwood, making a "OOAAAHHHHHHH" noise, and slammed into Gryff, sending him flying three feet backwards, where he landed flat on his back in the dirt.  
"For God's sake, I can't go friggin' anywhere without this happening!" Ash declared.  
"Without what happening?" Vash demanded.  
Suddenly, Gryff was propeled back to his feet by some unseen force. His shades were gone & his eyes had become a pale white, his skin was pale & sunken in like a corpes. He grinned a fanged grin.  
"Screw the cash!" Gryff said, his voice now deep & distorted. "I'll swallow your soul!!"  
While our heroes' attention was directed towards the possessed bounty hunter, they didn't notice his thugs become hosts to evil demons as well. At least, they didn't notice until the thugs began cackleing in distorted voices.  
Vash & Wolfwood both prepared for a firefight, Vash firmly griping his pistol in his pocket & Wolfwood ready to rip the wrappings off his cross. But before either of them could act, Ash stepped forward.  
"I got this, pretty boy," he arrogantly said to Vash. Then, he turned his attention back to the possessed villians, revved up his chainsaw & pulled a sawed-off double-barreled Remington (an ancient relic to Wolfwood & Vash) from a holster on his back.  
"Come get some!" 


	2. Trigun Part 2

Evil Gryff roared, being propelled forward by some unseen force (Jesus, that's a lot of forces you can't see!). Ash calmly waited until the ugly schmucks face was inches from the Remington's muzzel & fired. Gryff's body flew backwards a couple yards, as his head had ceased to exsist.  
"Well?" Ash offered to the Demon Thugs.  
"Let's get 'im!" one thug said to the other.  
"Yeah......uh...you go first!" replied its possessed cohort.  
"Pussy!" the first thug tuanted & charged towards Ash. Our one-handed hero had just finished reloading his trusty boomstick &, with a stylish flip of the gun, blew the thug to chunks.  
The next two thugs charged, growling & foaming at the mouth. Ash plunged his bad-ass chainsaw into the first's chest, then violently ripped it out of the Deadite's side, decapitating the second on the follow- through.  
"Groovy," Ash muttered, quite pleased with himself.  
He quickly looked to his left, where the final Deadite was quietly slipping away. He cocked the shotgun & aimed it at the cowardly corpse.  
"Ah shit," the Deadite groaned as he realized his fate.  
BWAM!!  
"I gotta tell ya," Ash said, smiling as he victoriously turned to Vash & the Padre, "I'm an artist!"  
"What were those things?" Wolfwood asked.  
"Deadites. Demons with nasty BO...that's how ya know they're coming," Ash explained casually, as he slung his boomstick over his shoulder. He'd been through this conversation before. "Ya see, they're summoned by this old book called the Necronomicon. Real ugly thing, too. Bound in human flesh & inked with blood. And right now, a red-haired bearded shithead with a bad accent, calls himself Mr. Grey." (based on the villian from Dreamcatcher, but not him) "Seen 'im?"  
"Sorry, but we haven't seen anyone out here but you & Dread Knights," Vash shrugged.  
"Deadites," Ash corrected.  
"Well, we haven't seen him," Vash continued as if he never heard the time-traveling store clerk. (that would be a cool friggin' job, wouldn't it? ^_^)  
"He might be back in town," Wolfwood suggested. "It's a couple miles east."  
"Thanks, Padre," Ash nodded, shaking Wolfwood's hand. "See ya 'round, Pretty boy," he called to Vash the Stampede, who glared at him. And so, our hero set off east. He only got a few steps before a female scream floated over the hill.  
  
* * *  
  
"What are they, Meryl?!" Milly Thompson called back as she & Meryl Stryfe rode furiously on thier horses ('cuase i couldn't remember what the hell those wierd donky/kiwi thingies were called, so bite me) to escape thier bizarre pursuers.  
"I dunno, Milly, but they sure can take alot of shots!" Meryl replied, tossing away yet another pair of empty derringers. Twenty-four she'd gone through & had yet to down even one of the creatures chasing them.  
"C'mon back, baby," one of the once human beasts called after them with a twisted voice, "we could have lots of fun!"  
"Go fuk yerself!" Meryl suggested, tossing a canteen at the nearest one.  
"Meryl," Milly scolded, "Language!"  
Meryl had almost forgotten the handful of orphans they had managed to save & take with them as they fled the city, which had been overrun by thosse things.  
"Sorry!" Meryl tossed a frying pan at another monster.  
"S'alright!" replied one of the creatures.  
"Not you!!" she threw that wierd-ass cat at the one who had spoke.  
"Look, Meryl, it's Mr. Vash!" Milly pointed forward. As they came over a hill, Meryl saw Vash & Wolfwood standing with a mysterious stranger who would later be revealed to be Ash, the grooviest living being in the universe (^_^). Vash looked rather humorusly suprised to see the girls, while Wolfwood was more concerned by the monsters following them.  
Ash looked disdainfully at the hoard of Deadites; they always seemed to try to kill the cute ones. Quickly reloading his Remington, Ash prepared for another ass-whuppin'. He was quite happy to see Pretty Boy & the Padre pull guns; there must've been dozens of Deadites charging down the hill, and ,despite his over-powering grooviness, Ash could use all the help he could get. 


End file.
